All Of My Memories Keep You Near {Within Temptation}

I am officially in Illinois.

Not too happy about this I must say. I did get to see Uncle Rob, Aunt Donita and my little cousin Sarah. They made us dinner and we relaxed and caught up for an hour or so. That was a nice treat, and a great alternative to fast food for dinner. (Thank you Donita!)

It has just sort of hit me that I really am here, in Illinois, for good. Well not permanently for good, but at least for the next year. And there is nothing I can do about it. Before this I had been keeping my spirits alive by planning my trips back to visit good ol' MD over winter, spring and summer break. But now that we are here, that all seems so much more difficult and unrealistic. Not that it really is unrealistic, but it just seems a little more overwhelming.

I miss my friends, I want to go home. This is the first day in a couple weeks that I have gone without seeing Thomas, Victoria and Stephen, and it is really hard already. I found myself comparing my feelings of missing them to when I get over a breakup. When its a guy I am missing, he is all I think about and all I want is to be in his arms and hear is voice. I never thought I would miss my friends the same way. I would give anything to be piled on Stephens couch with Victoria, laughing at whatever antics Tom is up to and Stephen on the floor editing pictures on his laptop. Nothing (besides riding Isaac) makes me happier than when I am with them, even if we are just sitting on the hood of a car for four hours watching two men cut down a tree (Victoria, lol).

I feel like such a moody teenager, but at this point I'm feeling really negative about this whole thing and don't really want to feel any other way. I am feeling antisocial, except my texting and calling md people all day long, and hate the idea of making new friends as funny as that is. I have the mindset of a child "I dont want new friends, I want my friends!"

But the hotel we are staying in is really really nice. The rooms are huge (I actually have a bed to sleep on this time), there is a pool and hot tub (which I am going to need). There are hot guys here too, but I'm not really feeling all that flirty at the moment - maybe tomorrow. I want to see Mimi really badly, I hope we can visit soon.
I am really tired and would write more but it would just be more whining about how I miss my besties, so I will save myself (and you) all of that and just end this note here for the night.